im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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