I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
