Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
