I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
