I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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