Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Couch. On fire.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
