She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
