I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
