she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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