Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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