if you like me you must not know who I am
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
