You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
