honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
