Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
