Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
its liver damage thursday
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
