i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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