I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
