It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
