dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
