i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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