CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
