high people should be assigned attendants
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
