im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
