Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
