O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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