do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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