So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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