2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
