You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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