I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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