i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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