He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
