ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
