yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
