jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Randomize
