Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
