you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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