would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
