Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
