I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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