The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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