Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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