Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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