omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
