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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?

  (760): View more from California

  You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.

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• (805): View more from California

  Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.

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• (347): View more from New York

  I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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• (707): View more from California

  OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Wish me luck on my new penis adventure

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