Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
