I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
