Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
