I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
