oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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