What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
